nightquill

Occasional light verse, mostly political. If you're looking for a certain cold medicine, try here. But we can put you to sleep cheaper.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

deep (blue) background

Have you ever gone to the NSA website? It's the slowest I've ever seen -- they must be reading your entire hard drive while their screen downloads. And until the logo finally manages to arrive, these words appear in its spot on the screen:
Image: National Security Agency insignia disappearing into a dark blue background.
Text: Welcome to NSA.gov.


The Washington Post reports today that the Inspector General of the NSA, Joel Brenner, has launched an internal probe concerning the surveillance of the communications of American citizens which has been taking place without the approval of the surveillance court. As a result, the Pentagon's Inspector General has said it doesn't need a probe of its own, and the Inspector General at Justice says it's none of his business. Of course, all these gentlemen are part of the executive branch which is the source of the problem, and Brenner himself approved the program previously.

In his honor, we're using a song which has probably served as the scaffolding of more parodies than any other:

I am the very thorough NSA Inspector General.
My interest in your privacy is flimsy and ephemeral.
My new investigation of the spying that I ratified
Will only end when all the perpetrators are beatified.
And while my probe is going on, I'll tell you from my podium
That any other prober should be treated with opprobrium.
And anyone who'd like to duck a question with agility
Can say that any comment would impede my probe's utility.
Chorus: Can say that any comment would impede his probe's utility.
Can say that any comment would impede his probe's utility.
Can say that any comment would impede his probe's utili-tili-ty.
And so, since both my counterparts at Justice and the Pentagon
Eschew responsibility, and Congress won't prevent a con,
I'm hoping your attention span is flimsy and ephemeral:
I am a very thorough NSA Inspector General!
Chorus: He's hoping your attention span is flimsy and ephemeral:
He is a very thorough NSA Inspector General!

3 Comments:

Blogger Stephen McArthur said...

This one made me laugh out loud alot! The vision of the NSA rapidly sluicing through my hardrive while its site slowly loads is pretty funny in and of itself. It's like the guy who picks your pocket while you are shaking hands. Maybe it's more like the guy who picks your pocket and rapes your wife while you are shaking his hand.

Do you submit your parodies anywhere? You should. This one is priceless. We had a family sing!!

9:47 PM  
Anonymous mimi said...

I am afraid to comment. Someone may be listening. ;-)

It took us a bit longer to get here than George Orwell anticipated.

1:08 PM  
Blogger nightquill said...

For the record: the monthly archive containing this post -- with no apparent referring link -- was linked to by relay7.ucia.gov (CIA) on 31 July.

Hi, Big Brother!!

12:03 AM  

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