Occasional light verse, mostly political. If you're looking for a certain cold medicine, try here. But we can put you to sleep cheaper.

Monday, August 15, 2005


Ignoring mutterings in the blogosphere that he was no friend of Rumsfeld and the neocons, we take the Army at its word that General Kevin P. Byrnes, just short of retirement, has become the first four-star general to be relieved of his command in modern times solely because of an extramarital affair with a civilian that could have had no demonstrable relevance to his work running academic and training programs at the Army's schools. Four-star generals are not the usual objects of sympathy in this space, but for some reason we got so riled we became even less funny than usual:

General Kevin Byrnes has been relieved of his command;
The first four-star in modern times to be thus rudely canned.
A lifetime full of service doesn't matter, they declare,
For General Byrnes has had an extramarital affair.

There wasn't any question of subordinates or harassment;
It should be just a personal (if terrible) embarrassment.
Of all the ways to thank our soldiers, this I think's the least good:
To treat them not as loyal public servants, but a priesthood.

If war is not our state religion, why does our security
Demand so many sexual criteria of purity?
Why else are lies that lead to war forgiven a Commander-
In-Chief, while one sure way to get impeached is to philander?

So as the brass at Abu Ghraib enjoy their lamb and rice,
Let's bid farewell to General Byrnes, the human sacrifice.
Remember whom your nation cheers; remember whom it spurns;
And think about the Private Hell where General Kevin Byrnes.


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